Unpacking My Heart

He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?
Romans 8:32

The mini-van was packed full even with the center seats removed. More stuff was packed in our daughter’s car leading the way to her future as a freshman college student.

We’d raised our daughter, Stacey for this moment. Her junior year in high school she was given her own checking account so she could learn, while still at home, how to be responsible with budgeting and handling her own money. Her senior year, I armed her books to read that would arm her for the challenges and temptations that she would face.

Two titles on the book list were: Fascinating Womanhood – to equip her in making a wise choice in choosing a mate and There’s a New World Coming by Hal Lindsey – to make her aware that we are involved in a spiritual war and to give her comfort in knowing that God has the final word.

Stacey and I had shopped garage sales for the extra furniture to make her shared dorm room feel cozy, comfortable and inviting. But these tiny treasures took up space in the mini-van with a full-size computer, TV, home made curtains, grandma’s home made white quilted bed spreads, clothes, and her stuffed bunny rabbit riding shot-gun in the passenger seat.

In her crisp calico dress, the stuffed rabbit sat tall with the seatbelt holding her in place. The rabbit and I just enjoyed music as the miles clicked by as we followed Stacey in her over packed car.

Then pride came in like a hot flash. Creeping up from the inside, rushing quickly to pour out of pores I didn’t even know I had. My mouth became part of the uncontrollable action.

I started talking to the rabbit strapped in next to me. I praised God for the gift of our daughter, for His guidance in raising her and for the expectations we had for her that she fulfilled so far. Then the depths of my heart poured out in words as tears poured down my face.

“How could your be so giving, Abba? You sent Your Son to earth to die. I’m only sending my daughter to college to grow.”

Words continued to pour from my heart. Miles upon miles sped by with Stacey leading the way and the Lord helping me let go of the child He gave me on loan.

When the campus could be seen on the horizon, cool calmness refreshed me as these final words gushed from my soul, “She’s Yours, may she fulfill Your plan. Thank You for the loan.”

Peace filled my spent heart. God packed it to overflowing with His love and joy in knowing that Stacey would never be alone or forsaken. The Holy Spirit would be riding shot-gun beside the Good Shepherd’s little lamb. Her Bible was the first treasure to be unpacked.


Vonda Skelton said…
Oh how well I remember that day in our family! But praise God, through Him we CAN have that peace that passes all understanding.
Thanks for the walk down memory lane!
Marilyn Shipe said…
What wonderful thoughts on letting go of those who don't really belong to us fully anyway! It sounds like a good book to me, Carolyn! Very comforting and cozy.

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